September

September was so much more laid back than the pass couple months!! It's been nice to be back to some sort of a normal life that's for sure. We did start our infertility plan E (Plan A: On our own, Plan B: 5 Inseminations, Plan C: Foster to adopt, Plan D: Adoption, Plan E: Medications and inseminations together) and that's been quite something. Along with oral medicine (Femora) I've been giving myself shots 3 times a month as well. Oh and a trigger shot so my body relieves the eggs too. LOTS of hormones. I had tried to prepare myself mentally for the emotional roller coaster I was about to go through. I was not ready to be so depressed for a while like I was. I had no energy to do anything, no motivation and no desire to get anything done either. I cried a lot too. For a bunch of reasons and for no reason at all. It's been pretty hard for the 3 of us. Unfortunately it did not result in a pregnancy either. But we have been turning to our Heavenly Father and to the comfort and peace that the gospel brings us. It hasn't been taking the pain away. But it has helped us deal with it so much better. I actually found this picture at the DI a few weeks ago. We put it where we can see it no matter where we are in our apartment (it's not THAT hard to find such a spot in our tiny place!) and see it several times a day. It has become my #1 motto. The picture that gets me through the hardest days. That's definitely the best $0.50 I've ever spent!

Here's something else that's been getting me through hard days: 

THIS BOY! He sure is everything I could wish for. He makes me such a blessed mom!

We have been cutting off "screen time" drastically for Josan. He was getting to a point where nothing was fun or interesting unless it was on a screen. So we just cut it all off. His imagination and his creativity exploded almost right away. It's honestly the best thing we could have done for him. There is very little bit of any kind of video games played, no cable TV whatsoever and not much ipod time either. There is one screen time that we not only allow but encouraged: Passe-Partout! I watched that preschool aged show as a little girl and I loved it. My mom sent me the whole Souvenir Chest just barely and we LOVE it!!! It's been helping Josan with his french and brought back a ton of memories for me! Plus, who doesn't love a good reason to bring the early 1980's back?!

My little man and his new haircut.

Pre photo shoot picture:)

More of my loves

August

WE'RE BAAAACK!!! July was quite something to go through. But we made it alive and well. Mostly anyways. And now that we're here we try to stay busy too. Not as much as July (please never again) but we don't like to sit around much either. So here's how our August looked:

We had 2 baptisms in one day: our nephew Jackson and cute Kali. We realized right there how glad we were to not be the ones missing out everything anymore!

I didn't get any pictures of Jackson's baptism. I asked Adam to go be with everyone else. There was no way I could make it. It was a rough day. The pass 5 weeks were finally kicking in and one last little drop was all it took for me to have an emotional meltdown. I had been holding it all in for too long. That day was the day that it all came out. That day I reached a personal low. I was emotionally drained and had a hard time feeling my Heavenly Father's love. I especially felt hopeless. I felt like our family of 3 would never grow to be a family of 4. I was sad. I was discouraged. And I was angry. I poured my heart out in prayer. A long one. I prayed to my Heavenly Father for understanding. I prayed for any kind of miracle. I felt like no one in my surroundings could understand the pain I was going through. I felt so alone. So painfully alone. Even Adam could not soften my sorrow at this point. And then, uninvited and unexpected came a knock on our apartment door. It was exactly the miracle I had prayed so desperately for. It was Jay and Lisa. Lisa, my amazing sister in-law. I had always thought so highly of her. But now I was telling her how I felt so deep down. She was seeing me cry and was not judging me for it. She was giving me the advice I needed at that very time. She was being my miracle. I will be forever grateful for this unexpected visit.

This is Adam's new daily view. So far he really likes his job.

We found a little apartment in Farmington right across the street from Station Park. It's nice but we'll definitly be ready for a house sooner rather than later...

One of the reasons why I love our Fit: It cost $35 top to fill it up and this one time we stretch it to 400 mile!!

It didn't take us long to get the fun going. Keaton and Josan always catch things up right where they left it.

My handsome man on his first day at his new job

Back to school shopping

First day of Kindergarten. I cried then and quite a few times since

Since we had barely moved back to Utah and had no idea that his school would be year round Josan ended up starting 2 weeks late. But as usual he got a hang of things and is doing great now.

Second day. He makes me so happy.

School has been exhausting for poor Joes. Most days he doesn't get to take a nap. But some time I just cant help myself...

Homeworks were way hard at first and the more it goes the easier it gets

We were so very blessed to be able to go through the Ogden Temple open house before it got to be rededicated. It was breath taking. Every single corner and every tiny detail was gorgeous. It was even better to be able to go with Mike, Tammy and the girls. Being able to spend time with our family is definitely a huge perk of being back in Utah

More fun times this time at the Airplane Museum in Clearfield

JOSAN IS INTO LEGOS!!! We have been trying to get him into that for ever. It helps keeping him busy especially in such a tiny apartment.

It had been so long since we all got together! Last time we had barely found out that we were expecting our little Josan. So 6 years later we finally got back together and had a great time!

We went to Lagoon once this year and had a great time. We also met with our friends from Colorado.

Come on give me some credit here! Josan looks a LITTLE like me right?!?

Josan had been asking me to go to school on the bus for quite some time and I finally gave in...and there I was crying again...Just to make sure that he would be ok I actually waited for him at school. I'm so overprotective. Sue me ;)

Josan is getting so independent! He does more and more on his own and needs me less and less. It makes me so proud...and SO sad!

And he's getting SO good at writing, reading and math!!

We miss our friends the Clarks so much! So whenever they come in Utah we try to gab some food and hang out for a bit

 We went to Nevada at the end of August. We brought Jackson along with us. We all had double the fun because he came. We love having cousins around! You cant really tell from the picture but when we left the too boys both had the very same hairstyle and that was not planned at all!

On our was back. Such cute tuckers!

So overall August has been amazing! Challenging yes. But amazing. There has been a huge change in the way we see and handle the trials we have in our lives. We count our blessings each day and still hope for more of course. But we know that our "watch timing" has nothing to do with the eternal plan that God has for us. We are still adjusting to everything. But there's a lot more positive than negative now. It's great to be back!