FOX, party of 4!!!: November

Towards the beginning of the month (I think it was on the 6th actually) while Josan was at school I was saying my morning prayer. Lately every one of my personal prayer has been very heart pouring, sincere and emotionally full. Like every prayer should be really. It has just been a great moment that I take to connect with my Heavenly Father. So I was praying and for the pass little while I had been asking for guidance so Adam and I would know which way we needed to go so we could grow our family. We have been feeling a little lost and wanted to figure out a plan for ourselves in case our last artificial insemination does not work. Anyway. I was praying and I felt like I shouldn't ask for guidance. I had the prompting to ask for trust. I needed to ask help so I could let go. Let go of control over a fertility plan. Let go of knowing what to do or where to turn. Let go of being in charge for once. So I did. That is what I prayed for. That night when Adam and I were getting ready for bed I asked him what his feelings were about our tries to add to our family lately (being a typical guy he doesn't usually wear his feelings on his sleeve like I do so I ask him that once in a while;)). I was pretty surprised when he told me that he felt like despite what we were planning, we needed to stop worrying about growing our family and get our focus back to the family that we DO have. Now when we make a plan I like to stick to it. I also like to be proactively trying to add to our our family. It has been so long already and each month seems like another year to us. So when Adam told me what his feelings were he was expecting me to get upset with him. But then I told him about my morning prayer and needless to say that we are trying our very best right now to follow that feeling that we had. We know from our 2 different answers that we need to trust blindly our Heavenly Father and in His plan for us. We don't need to know what His plan is. We don't even need to know what our next step will be.

Now like I said it's something really hard for this girl. I thrive on planning, organization, knowing what is going on. So we'll have to see how well this "no plan" plan of ours goes. So far so good!

Beginning of November I also was diagnosed with mild to severe depression. A part of me is sad to have a "depressed" tag on my forehead. But mostly I'm just very thankful for the diagnosis. And for modern medicine to help me through it. I realized I needed help when nothing was making me happy. Not even my amazing boys. I was just not happy with myself. So I couldn't be happy with anyone else either. I asked the Dr to prescribe the lowest dosage of anti-depressant possible (which is about half the average dosage) so I wouldn't go further than I needed to. I'll probably ask her to upper it a little next time I see her. I'm feeling much better than I used to. But it seems like my energy and motivation levels are still a lot lower than they should be. It makes it a lot harder to be as good of a mother/wife as I should be. And my boys definitely deserve the best of me.

Here's the boys checking out the Halloween results

More fun...

One of the effects of the depression was that I was never EVER happy with the way I looked. No matter what. Now I can see that I'm not as bad as I thought I was....not quite ;)

Josan got some very generous presents from Grand-Papa, David, and Mamie and Papy again this year. Mamie and Papy also included about 3 pounds of chocolate in there! :)

I don't remember ever doing this before. So here you go! Adam, Josan and me all between 5 and 6 years old. Now yes I KNOW! Josan looks just like Adam. But give me a bit of credit here. He does have just a hint of his mom too right? RIGHT?

I have such a good boy!! A few ants kept finding their way to the dogs food in our apartment and Josan just grabbed the vacuum and cleaned them up! He's always so good at helping out!

Our big boy has never really been into drawing or crafts. But once in a while lately he likes to grab some paper and just draw a thing or two. This one is my favorite ever so far...boy does he make us happy!!!

See? I mean I'm no Scarlett Johansson or Miranda Kerr by any mean. But I'm ok too...:)

JOSAN TURNS 6!!!

As usual, Josan's birthday was the highlight of November for us! Every single day we are so so thankful to be his parents. His birth is definitely something to celebrate! We had a blast! He wanted either a battleship or a Minecraft party this year. I asked him to trust me and leave it to me for the theme. We ended up having a beachy party at the Aquatic Center in Clearfield. I wanted something to go along with his main present...

Kara was watching him while Adam and I went to get the cake and get things ready first. She brought him in for a casual "birthday swim" and he was pretty surprised when he saw everyone waiting for him!

That's when he found a pic of a cruise ship at the bottom of his "swimming" present box

And that's when we told him we were taking him on one...only 5 days later

Time to swim!

After swim dinner

Josan is such an amazing boy! I can't believe how blessed we are to have him in our lives. He has changed us for the better and I am so thankful to be his mom!!

I know most women guard the secret of their weight numbers with their lives. But I have to share this one. I REACHED MY GOAL!!!!!!! I have been working to get under 130 for so long! No matter what I'd do I couldnt get down. I d plateau for months and months at a time...but since May I lost 15 pounds!!!! Part of me will never be satisfied with my weight. No idea why. But I have to pat myself on the back for this. Own it and be proud!

I was so happy to see this friend of mine all the way from Quebec! We went and grabbed dinner and walked around the mall for a minute. It was a short visit but so fun!

WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!! I cannot begin to express how excited we are to move in our new house!!! It'll be another "project' house but it feels like home already and we havent even closed on it yet! We got under contract on November 27th. It's in Ladonna Mesa (Adam's old and most preferred neighborhood) and the view there is amazing!!! Can't wait!!!

Late that night we also gotto fly off to Puerto Rico with everyone to go on our cruise! We decided to do REDEYE that night and stay at a hotel for a day so we could rest. It was an extra cost but I think it was worth it so we could start the cruise off somewhat rested.

Its good to be small sometimes. Josan was one of the only one to get sort of comfortable on the planes

Almost to Puerto Rico!!!

We shared that hotel room with Ben and Kelli. Besides for a total lack of privacy in the bathroom (that we actually didn't mind that much anyways. we either went in couples at a time or girls/guys) it was a great place to stay and the view was awesome!

More hanging out in Puerto Rico!

Packing up our stuff. Time to get on the ship!

En route!

DAY 1: At Sea (November 29th)

Checking our the ship

and our deck

and our room

and our balcony!!

Let's get started on eating!!!!!

We had Jim as our guest #4 in our room. But I traded him for 2 girls. They switched around a little and I got to spend some seriously fun time with them. The room was already tiny for 3 of us. With 5 of us and sometimes 7 when it was time to get ready and we had all 4 girls in front of the mirror it was SO cramped! But I loved every single second of it!!

DAY 2: At Sea (November 30th)

FORMAL NIGHT

Keeping it classy...

I'm still not sure who mentioned anything about the cruise being part of Josan's birthday. But the word got out and they brought him a cake and sang to him. That was such a sweet touch!